


Poison and Hallelujahs

by robinsparkles14



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-21 10:46:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinsparkles14/pseuds/robinsparkles14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Poison and Wine". You do not have to read it to understand much, but it is on my masterlist. It has been nearly a month since Belle walked out of his life. Since then he has been different, which is perhaps the nature of someone who is trying to forget. But sometimes your fate finds you despite your attempts to escape it. RumBelle AU with Stripper!Belle and Doctor!Gold</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Poison and Hallelujahs

Author: robinsparkles14

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Sequel to "Poison and Wine". It has been nearly a month since she walked out of his life completely, and that should be the end of it. However, sometimes your fate finds you no matter how you try and fight it. AU with stripper!Belle and doctor!Gold.

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this. If you have not read "Poison and Wine", you should be okay for the most part. However, if you feel like you need to read it, all three parts are on my masterlist.

~xx~

This situation is beyond awkward.

And that is most definitely understating things.

Dr. Gold has not been in the same room with his ex-wife and his son together since he proposed they separate, a little over a month ago. And though he would like to say they were handling it splendidly, that would be some certifiable bullshit.

Lilac Milah, Gold's ex-wife and now archenemy by the looks of things, had proposed this family outing. That had been last week, when Gold had asked her quite politely if he could take their son, Baelfire off her hands for tonight. Lilac's answer had been quick and, like most everything she said, utterly rude. She had said he could only see Bae if she could see him at the same time because she could not risk having him fuck another stripper with their son around. Gold had felt the ping in his chest he always felt when that stripper was mentioned. Belle had been a mistake, and he knew that, but getting her out of his head had been a problem for the past month. And perhaps those thoughts were what clouded his judgment, because somehow he has found himself sitting in a diner with his son and ex-wife, staring at the wall.

However he can tell Bae is a million times more uncomfortable than he is. Though the boy says nothing, he knows the nature of his parent's relationship. And being that it is extremely unhealthy, this dinner is far easier with all of them sitting, looking at anything but each other.

Of course, that is only Gold's opinion. It is not his son's.

"So," Bae says to the silence, "Mom, I invited Henry over tomorrow. He was having some issues with kids at school...they're mean to him about having two mothers and all that so I-"

Lilac glowers at her son. "We've been over this, Baelfire. We can't have that boy around anymore. He's strange. A bad influence on you, as are his mothers."

Dr. Gold rolls his eyes. He has never met Emma, nor Regina, but somehow he doubts either of them are bad influences on Bae. And Henry is utterly harmless. Strange to an extent, but certainly not any child to be worried about. But in Lilac's eyes, anyone who is not completely accepted socially should be below their standards. "Bae," Gold says, "You can invite Henry over to my house tomorrow if your mother does not approve of him. I do not judge people quite as easily as she does."

Hiding his glare is impossible, and he can see that Bae knows what was just said and the effect it will have on his mother. "No. You will not be at your father's house tomorrow." Lilac counters.

Gold feels the anger bubbling inside him but tries to ignore it as much as possible. He needs to be rational here. "You may not realize this, Miss Milah," he drawls out her name, knowing just how much she hates it, "but he is my son too."

Bae becomes remarkably interested in the design on the tablecloth.

Lilac narrows her eyes and growls, "Oh, I realize that all too well. However, tomorrow just isn't going to work."

"Bae," Gold says.

Bae looks up. "Hm?"

"Do what you'd like tomorrow afternoon. The choice is entirely yours."

Lilac grits her teeth together. "No, it's not! I am your mother, Bae, and you will do what I-"

She stops mid-sentence and her jaw drops as she stares at the door. Curious, both Gold and Bae turn their heads in the same direction.

Good luck has never exactly followed Dr. Gold in anything he has done. Lilac got pregnant after one night stupidity, and their marriage had been the most torturous experience imaginable (not that the separation is really any better). So he should not have been as surprised as he is that the stripper he had slept with and neglected to try getting in touch with again has just walked into the diner. In the middle of his dysfunctional family outing.

Luck. That is all it is. Just really bad fucking luck.

~xx~

"I thought I'd never see you again," the words roll off her tongue and her eyes glisten with tears, "I thought you had forgotten."

He gives her a sad look and reaches out, his fingers grazing her cheek ever so slightly, yet she had never felt more loved in her life. "Oh, sweetheart," he murmurs, "I could never forget you."

She has been here a million times before. In the library, surrounded by all the things she loves while he reassures her that she means something to him. This is not a new situation, but she hopes that perhaps it could have a different ending. Because she craves this so desperately, and she cannot survive so much longer without his touch. And in this moment she is so close to all of that. So close to what she desires. She can feel everything just out of her reach and it is all she can do not to simply reach out and take it.

He holds her face in his hand and starts to lean down, wanting his lips on hers as much as she does. And she can feel his breath in her face and it is warm and familliar and she has never wanted anything so badly.

And then it is gone.

Belle's eyes flutter open and she swallows hard. She had done it again. She had dreamed of him again. This has been an extremely common occurrence for the past month, perhaps because thoughts of hin refuse to leave her. It is pathetic, since he had obviously long forgotten her, but Belle is locked up in this feelings for him, and constantly angry at herself for not simply letting it go. It should be easy to forget, but the other things in her life are not particularly perfect, and so she clings onto that bit of hope he left her.

For the past month, life has passed in such a nonsensical blur. She had returned to the Storybrooke Showclub and Regina had welcomed her back with open, if not slightly passive-aggressive arms. Luckily, Belle would not be having to deal with Regina much anymore. She and her girlfriend, Emma had decided to take a long break from the strip club for their son Henry's sake. The boy had enough issues and they both thought it best to put at least this one to bed.

Belle could tell Regina did not really want to leave. Despite being a filthy strip club, the place held a lot of precious things for her. It was the place she had met Emma, and the place they had been through all the rocky steps in their relationship. And though Belle always used to find their love for each other odd, she recently has found herself understanding it

Belle's ex-boyfriend, Greg, had called her up recently after she sent him a breakup text. He wanted to know what her problem was, and not having the energy or patience to explain that she did not approve of him fucking another girl, she had told him to jump off a balcony and hung up. He has not tried to contact her since.

Belle is okay with that, honestly. Her relationship with Greg had not only been a lie, but also something she was never content with. Still, she feels lonely all the time. Sure, she has Ruby, who she has been staying with for the time being, but beyond that she is completely alone. And besides, Ruby is hardly ever around. She prefers to spend her days with the local shrink, Archie Hopper, who funny enough, she had quit stripping for. That makes Belle the only veteran at the Storybrooke Showclub, since everyone else has moved on with their lives.

Every day is much the same. Her life passes so slowly and so drearily. She hates it. True, she has always hated it, but now it is worse.

It is worse because for one night it had been better.

Belle had gotten off work early today. Usually, she found that dancing naked in front of people helped take her mind off of stupid things like doctors she'd fucked who were twice her age. Usually she could just focus on the horndog guys like Dr. Whale who showed up nearly every day demanding more from her than she was willing to give. Usually fighting off their advances would clear her head of anything else.

But today it was not working. She could not help wondering what he would think if he saw her like this, being completely put to shame. She thinks of what would happen if he walked in right now. Would he rescue her? Save her from this wretched life that has befallen her? Perhaps. Perhaps if he saw her again, he would not let his cowardice get the best of him.

And normally she would have been able to just deal with her stupid brain and continue what she was supposed to be doing, but today she has had enough. Regina and Emma are not around, and no one else is going to yell at her for leaving.

Belle wishes she could go talk to Ruby, since she was the only living soul on this earth who know about Belle's little one night stand. But Ruby is out with that shrink for the umpteenth time this week, so she chooses the next best thing. Alcohol.

Storybrooke does not exactly have a bar, it has a diner that serves booze. It is not so much for the convenience of getting food and alcohol at the same place. It is more that no one has the time or money to open a bar. Also, Storybrooke basically has a law stating if it is fun and exciting, it is not allowed. With the exception of the showclub, Belle supposes.

But the nice thing about Granny's is that EVERYONE goes there. Mostly because there is nowhere else to go. This meant that if you were going to find your destiny anywhere in Storybrooke, the diner should be the first place you look.

Because sometimes the thing you want the most ends up sitting at a table in back with the woman who called you a worthless fucking whore and a young boy. Sometimes, something so camouflaged by the crowded room sticks out for you simply because you are the reason it is there.

And sometimes, just as your eyes lock with the person you have been dreaming of for the past month, a warmth wells up inside you and it starts to rain.

~xx~

She is exactly how he remembers her. Small, thin-figured, with beautiful chestnut curls and lips so soft and pink he wishes nothing more than to have them pressed against every part of him.

Her eyes are glistening, and she is smiling so slightly, yet so genuinely that he knows she is truly happy. Why, he cannot imagine, since obviously nothing too earth-shattering has happened.

And yet...that look she has...he swears that he wearing the very same one. Though he is trapped here with his awful ex-wife and his son...now he is also trapped here with her, which he perhaps enjoys a bit too much. It is just that ever since he had watched her leave, there has been a certain emptiness. Now, with her here, the emptiness is gone and has been replaced with something extraordinary.

Neither one of them is brave enough to speak with the other. Or perhaps looking is just less complicated. Either way, it is still obvious to bystanders that there is a sort of amazing electricity between the two of them. Not that they would know that, seeing as how the people in the diner have seised to exist. There is only Belle and Gold, staring across a crowded room into one another's eyes as if nothing else has ever mattered.

It is a quiet moment, but one that neither of them could ever ignore or forget.

Lilac's scowl does not fade from her face, and in the back of his mind, Gold hears her say, "You planned this, didn't you? You planned this to humiliate me in front of my son!" But the words are a distant echo of what really matters, which is Belle's glowing face and the tears he can,see glistening in her eyes.

"I planned no such thing, dearie. It is only a sort of bad luck that has befallen us." Gold says, his words soft and calm amidst the ocean of negativity at the table.

"Us?" Lilac scoffs, "More like befallen ME. Get up, Bae, we are leaving."

Those are probably the only words that could have snapped him from his daze. She is demanding his son leave him with her, a situation that is all too familliar. Gold looks up at his son with almost pleading eyes. Begging him not to fall prey to his mother's deceptions this time. Perhaps because he has an unexplainable to be here with both his son and Belle, without Lilac.

Bae looks up at his mother, "No," he says flatly, "I would rather stay with Papa tonight."

Gold's eyes meet with Belle's again on their journey to Lilac, and it is all he can do not to just stare at the brunette beauty at the bar. But when he finally is able to, he sees something he never had flicker across Lilac's stunning features. Hurt. It hurts her that her son wants to be with his father for one evening. Gold wants to find that pathetic, but he cannot. Instead, he makes a sympathetic face at her.

"Fine." She says, so softly it is hardly there, "Go with your father, Bae. But I am always here if you need me."

She tosses her long, brown hair over her shoulder as she goes, giving her son one last hopeful glance.

The second she is gone, Bae turns on his father. "So. Who is she?"

Gold is not even looking at his son. He is still staring at Belle. "Who?" He asks.

Baelfire points obviously and Gold smacks his arm down. Belle giggles from across the room. Bae chortles as well. "The girl who's laughing at you," he says.

Gold sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "I met her about a month ago. Her name is Belle."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"I didn't think it was important."

Bae rolls his eyes. "Oh, that makes sense. Well, when I get a girlfriend I won't tell you either."

"She isn't my girlfriend, son."

Baelfire winks at his dad. "Sure she's not. Well, in that case I guess we should just leave. No reason to stick around here."

It is a test, and Gold knows it. He also knows that he can pass it. He can prove to his boy that Belle is just some girl he knows. It is just going to take a lot of effort to get up and leave her here. He wants to stay. He wants to stay so he can protect her. "We can't go now, Bae. It's raining out. Can't have you getting sick "

Bae narrows his eyes. "The car is four seconds away and I have a jacket."

After a brief staring contest he knows Belle is watching, Gold grabs his cane and stands up. "Fine. Lets go then."

Baelfire walks around the table and over to his father. "If you leave without talking to her you will regret it," he informs Gold.

"Hush, boy," Gold says, limping toward the door while giving Belle one final glance.

~xx~

Belle watches Gold walk out of the diner, open mouthed. After all that silence, she refuses to believe that he can just walk out. He is thinking of her. He wanted to say something. And from the looks of it, the child he was with wanted him to say something too. Belle was not about to let him leave her this way. Did he not understand that this happened for a reason? They have something special. It is not every day you run into the person you have been thinking of for the past month at Granny's. This is meant to happen.

Belle snatches her purse off the counter and races out into the rain. Her jacket does not have a hood, and her hair starts sticking to her face but she can still see him. He and the boy are climbing to a black Cadillac. Belle tries to walk faster to catch up to them (running is not an option since that would most likely result in falling). The car pulls out of the parking space and begins making it's way down the street. Belle follows behind on the sidewalk. She is too close to this. Letting it go now is not an option.

The car comes to a stop at a red light and Belle races up to the passenger window, banging on it like a madwoman. The boy there looks alarmed at first, but then grins at Gold, who is looking at Belle with a shocked expression. He rolls down the window and Belle grins at him hugely.

"You're going to be soaked out there, dearie!" Gold scolds her, almost yelling over the pitter-patter of the rain.

"Pull over!" Belle instructs rather forcefully.

"Why!?"

"Because I want to talk to you!"

"I-" Gold starts to protest, but the kid between them yanks the steering wheel to the side.

"Pull over, Papa! Let the lady have a few words!"

Gold looks at his son like he is going to kill him but obeys, pulling over and stepping out into the rain. "You followed me here," he says to Belle.

She nods. "I wanted to talk to you again."

"Why?"

She stares at him like he's crazy and throws her hands up in the air. "What do you mean, why!? You don't think this is destiny!? This was supposed to happen, Rum!"

He smiles. He had forgotten about telling her it was alright to call him that. "What do you know of destiny, love?"

She looks straight up at him. "I can see how you looked at me! I know you want me too! Can't you just...take a leap of faith!? Believe me!"

Gold tries to speak again, but his son covers for him. "Hey!" He says out the window of the car, "Belle! Get in, you're coming home with us!"

Gold looks from his kid to Belle and back again. Belle shrugs and smiles. "You should not deprive the child of what he wants," she advises.

Gold sighs and looks to the sky for guidance. "Fine. But, Bae, get in back."

Bae grins and steps out of the car, walking between Gold and Belle as he reaches for the door to the backseat.


	2. Part 2

How ridiculously familliar. He is in his car with Belle next to him AGAIN. Except this time his son is in the backseat making obscene gestures every time Gold glances back at him and Belle is not looking.

Despite her wet hair, the girl is positively glowing with excitement. She looks as if she has waited all her life for this, and he would be lying if he said that he does not agree. It is surreal for him, having the family he truly wants in his car with him, and for once, everyone around him is getting along. Belle has been asking Bae questions, and actually seeming interested. Gold can joke with his son about all of the stupid answers he gives.

"Yeah," Bae responds to a question Gold had failed to hear, "My dad says you aren't really his girlfriend, but I know he's lying."

Bae is so lucky that his father is driving. Had he not been, the kid would be thrown out the window of the car and sleeping on the sidewalk. Gold's eyes flicker toward Belle, who is completely scarlet.

"I-I," she stammers, "I don't know, I guess that'd be up to him."

Bae laughs loudly and leans back in his seat. "No, really, it's not."

Gold has no idea what that means. Of course it is up to him! Who else would decide who he cares for? He makes a mental note to ask Bae later.

He pulls into the driveway of the salmon-colored house and Bae immediately jumps out of the car and runs up the walkway. Gold laughs and opens his own door before going around and opening Belle's.

"I must apologize for him," Gold says to Belle, "it would appear he doesn't have that filter. The one that should tell him what is appropriate to say and what isn't."

Belle laughs and takes his hand, stepping out of the car and leaning against the door to close it. "He's fine, really. And smarter than you give him credit for."

Gold smiles. "Thank you. And I do think he's smart, just makes wrong choices sometimes."

"Takes after his father."

There is a silence before Gold clears his throat and starts walking up toward the door. She follows him, not releasing his hand all the while. Bae is standing outside, shivering from the cold. He grins and rolls his eyes when he sees Gold and Belle with their hands together. Gold shoots him a look before unlocking the door.

Bae bolts inside, racing right upstairs with a barely-there wave. Belle starts laughing hysterically.

"I see your boy has quite the sense of privacy. Not much like his mother in that way."

Gold looks down and nods. "He is quite different different than us both, really. Brave boy, always wants to do the right thing."

"That doesn't sound too much unlike you."

"You don't know me, Belle. I am not a good person."

"Neither am I." she challenges.

Gold knows that his past is far worse than Belle's but decides not to press the issue. After all, she is still a stripper, which is a pretty good comeback for anything he has done.

"Do you want me on the couch again?" She asks.

"Do you have another preference?"

She grins. "Yes."

It is as if she had never walked away from this room. She is so determined to be close to him, despite everything, and he knows that she will be successful. Because as much as he likes to deny it, her company is the best thing he has felt in years. She is his personal flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness.

"Not tonight, love." he tells her, for her own safety, really. It is not like he would be upset if they fucked all night, but one of them has to be responsible here, and it is obviously not going to be her.

She frowns. "Why not?"

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Well, for one, my son is upstairs. And for two, it would be unfair to you."

"Unfair to me? Please. No one decides my fate but me. I'm not a child, I can make my own decisions," she retorts.

He smiles at her. It is a soft smile, one of comfort and one that shows he really does want her around. "Either way. I want to protect you."

She shakes her head. "Fine. But at least let me sleep next to you. Don't I deserve that much?"

No. She deserves far more than to be sleeping beside an old monster. He does not know what she has now, but no matter what it is, it is far better than anything he can give her. "Belle..." he starts and she raises her eyebrows, as if daring him to reject her, "...as you wish."

She giggles like he has just invited her to a slumber party.

"But, Belle," he says.

"Yes?" She looks so hopeful. He almost does not want to restrict her like he knows he needs to.

"Uhm...nothing. Just...I'll meet you in the bedroom. Would you like some tea?"

She blushes and smiles. "I-I would," she stammers, then turns on her heel and walks down the hall toward the staircase.

Gold leans against the counter and does his best not to smack himself with the frying pan that is teasing him, simply sitting on the stovetop. I'll meet you in the bedroom? Gods, he had never heard a more open invitation for sex in all his life. This girl is going to be the death of him. No matter how much he tries to ignore her, those ridiculous blue eyes and perfect innocence always catch him off gaurd. He loses his ability to stay composed and exert his power when she is around. It is pathetic, and yet completely inescapable.

He flicks the tea kettle on before getting back to his personal regret-fest. She may have indirectly helped him get his son here for a night, but she is still a poison nonetheless. And, of course, it does not help that he had convince her they would be having sex with his son but a floor away from it. But it is not like he will be disappointing her much. The first time was clearly a moment of poor judgement on both parts, and she is not going to be immensely disappointed by the loss of his intimacy tonight. Besides, she has a life far beyond this, one she will probably be needing to get back to. She probably just wants answers from him, and he desires the same from her. It should be an even trade.

Tomorrow this will all be over, anyway. She will leave, Bae can stay, and Gold has to be at work early in the morning, so...

Shit.

~xx~

Belle has never considered herself a skanky girl, even if she is a stripper now. It is all relative. She might take her clothes off for money, but she never actually *does* anything, and she has never been as agressive with anyone else as she had with Gold, and she had been in a fragile state.

Still, he had been pretty clear about not minding doing it again. Belle has her doubts. She would like to get to know him, and was really just letting her flirtatious side show earlier in the evening. She would never have expected him to act based on that.

Turning him down would be interesting, mostly because she really does not want to. The first time had been too perfect, and she would be lying if she said she did not want it again. Morals, however, are an entirely different issue. Even if Belle's reputation is already gone, she still has her own values, and after this she will have no choice but to self-declare herself a whore.

But Belle is not given the time to mull over her options for long because Gold swings the door open all in a panic, hands her a cup of tea (in the cup she is certain is the one she had broken the last time she was here. Yet why he still has it is beyond her.), and says "Hey..." in what is probably supposed to be a nonshalont fashion.

Belle raises her eyebrows and traces the top of the cup with her finger. "Hi," she says, admiring his dishevelled state.

He runs his hands through his hair. "You, uhm...you have to leave," he tells her. It is simple, but the words seem to take all the courage he has.

Her eyes bug and she nearly drops her tea. "What? Why?"

"I have to work tomorrow. Early. I'm taking Bae home as well. I can give you a lift if you-"

She stands and places her hands on his shoulders. "Shhhh," she soothes, "it's alright. I can watch your son tomorrow. It's too late for this, and you can't be punished for being forgetful, nor can you give your wife the satisfaction of getting her son back tonight."

Belle is not sure when she became such a jealous bitch, but the bit about that ex-wife of his needed to be said. The woman is insane. The fact that she believes in her husband so little is infuriating to Belle. No, he is not perfect, but she has absolutely no respect for him. Honestly, she is lucky he has not killed her yet. The coldness in his eyes had been so prominent when he spoke to her wothout Belle or Bae around. She turned something in him; she made him different. Cursed him, in a sense.

"No, Belle, really. I have to get him back to Lilac tomorrow and I can't put that burden on you." he argues.

She rolls her eyes. "You can trust me, you know. I'm not going to corrupt your son just because I'm a stripper."

"That's not what I was worried about..." Gold mutters.

Belle stares him down, doing her best to ignore the comment. "Just give me the address. I'll have him to her by tomorrow evening and meet you at the hospital to prove I succeeded."

It's funny. She makes it sound as if they are in a carefree relationship when in reality it is anything but. The pathetic stripper and the troubled doctor would never make a good childrens book. Yet Belle does know there is something different between them. Something she cannot quite place now, but something she is certain is very special.

Belle can see Gold's wall crack a bit, just letting her in enough to say, "Just promise me you'll take care of him," ever so softly.

She smiles. "I promise. And in return, I must ask you to promise me something as well."

"You drive a hard bargain, dearest"

Belle blushes at the nickname. He has stopped calling her 'dearie', as he does everyone else. Instead he calls her 'love', 'sweetheart', 'darling', and now 'dearest.' They were things you would call a true lover, yet they sounded natural coming from him.

"Promise me," she says, taking a deep breath, "Promise me you will not hurt me."

His eyes reflect back into hers and his breath catches. "Oh...sweetheart," he breathes, "I promise."

He kisses her then. Nothing more, but it is enough. His hand carreses her face before he leans down and presses his lips to hers. Her arms loop around his neck and she craves his closeness more. But it is over as quickly as it had begun, and the tip of her nose brushes against his lower lip softly before she burrows her head in his suit jacket and closes her eyes.

~xx~

Morning comes sooner than it should have, and Belle finds herself incredibly disappointed that he is not beside her, even if he had warned her of it.

The memories from the previous night wash over her, and she cannot help the smile that creeps across her face. The moments when he had touched her, even in the simplest of ways, made such a difference to Belle. She has always been a bit of a romantic, believing in the power of true love for the sake of Emma and Regina, and Ruby when she needed it.

But it had always been out of Belle's reach. Greg had been a far cry from what she had wanted, and no one else had ever played much of a role on her life. Gold was a little different. She let down her walls with him and was willing to give more of herself, and she suspects he is experiencing the very same phenomenon.

Belle throws the sheets off herself and swings her legs from the bed. She suspects that Bae will not be awake yet, but she feels obligated to put forth some effort in this babysitting venture. She then takes extra time to make the bed, and after admiring her work, decides she needs a cup of coffee.

She is surprised when she sees Bae sitting at,the kitchen table, already sipping his own cup. She jumps at the sight of him there, gasping before placing her hand over her chest and attempting to calm herself.

"You-you scared me," she gasps, though still trying to play off exactly how much.

Bae laughs, admiring Belle's dishevelled state. "Wow," he muses, "long night?" He then grimaces and holds tighter to the mug between his hands, "Actually, just kidding...I don't want to know."

Belle knows how guilty she must look, having emerged from the bedroom with her hair a mess and still in her clothes from the previous night, but she tries to maintain whatever pride remains within her by telling him, "No...it's not like that between your father and me. You've nothing to worry about."

Bae rolls his eyes. "Yeah. Sure it's not."

Silence follows and Belle runs her hands through her hair before taking a seat across the table from him and folding her hands together. "Are you drinking coffee?" She asks, and tries not to make it condecending.

He snorts. "Yeah. I'm fourteen, it shouldn't be all that shocking."

Belle nods slowly and smiles, "No, no, I was just wondering if you could make me some."

He grins back at her.

~xx~

In Gold's case, the day has been worse than usual.

Waking up early had been a nightmare, as it always was, but leaving his son with Belle proved to be the most terrifying experience of his existence. He trusts her, really, but that does not negate that he hardly knows her, and that she is a stripper. What if she had some weird stripper thing she did that no one else did? What if she told Bae she was a stripper? What if she had to work today and just regretted to tell him, assuming it would be okay to take Bae along?

Leaving the house had never been so difficult.

And it has only gotten worse from there. A couple of months ago, when Lilac and Gold were first discussing divorce, Lilac had taken it upon herself to make sure someone was "checking up on him" at work to make sure he was still "mentally stable."

And somehow, a nun fit the bill for said person. Gold had known from the second Mother Superior (though he reffered to her as Blue, the name he occasionaly heard others call her by, much to her dismay. He would like to call her by her real name, but he does not know it, simply because in all the time he has known her, everyone has called her Blue.) walked into the hospital that Lilac had planned this. She knew very well of Gold's distaste for that woman, and was probably hoping she would get him fired.

Unfortunately for Lilac, that has not happened yet. Still, Blue takes it upon herself to come into the hospital as much as possible to check up on Gold.

And she had to pick today as a visiting day.

Really, Gold has mastered the art of ignoring Blue and her sermons, but today he knew that she was really going to end up pissing him off. Intensely so.

She comes inside in her usual fashion: prim and proper, while also looking down upon everyone else. She then walks up to Dr. Gold, forcing herself to smile at him as she says, "Good morning, Mr. Gold, " she had taken to calling him this for the same reason that he he calls her Blue. It really pissed him off, "You look well."

He nods, feeling a little bad for the nun, who is clearly here only by Lilac's instruction, and for hope that she will get some money for the church by result. However, Gold cannot see this happening, as Lilac and her town council care profoundly little about the Storybrooke nuns. "As do you," Gold responds to Blue's comment, "I trust it will be a quick visit today?"

She gives him another fake, pursed-lip smile. "Perhaps. As long as I agree you have everything as it should be."

"Oh, I can assure you I do," he tells her, hoping it will get her out faster. She is not actually allowed in rooms when he is working, but she waits outside sometimes and offers him "kind words of encouragement" though they usually end up being subtle blows at his ego. Had the roles been reversed (and one of them was not a nun), this may have been viewed as a seduction teqnique, but with things as they are, that is clearly not the motive.

So, thanks to Blue's lingering presence, the day is sure to be completely wretched.

He has just finishing exiting the room currently filled with a woman undergoing cancer testing, telling her it was probably not anything to be incredibly concerned with (a lie, for he could tell the outlook was not good) when Blue began asking him questions.

"You seem to be doing quite a bit better today," she observes, "Could there be a reason for that?"

Better at what? Gold thought, unamused with her commentary. "Perhaps I've just become better at ignoring your existence, dearie," he seethes.

She gives him a tight-lipped smile and shakes her head. "No," she says, as if she would really know, "I'm certain it isn't that. Might there be something you wish to tell me?"

"There is absolutely nothing I wish to tell you," he assures her.

"Pity. I could help you, you know. But this seems to be something beyond my reach. Romance, perhaps? Or has it to do with Ms. Milah's son?"

The fact that she just called Bae 'Ms. Milah's son' was enough for him to hit her. However, even he knew better than to act upon this impulse. Blue was testing him, waiting for him to snap, and he could not fall into her trap. "You know," he says through gritted teeth as an attempt not to yell the words, "that romance is far beyond my reach as well, and as for my son: well, you are well aware of that situation."

"Hm," she murmurs, "Well, perhaps I am approaching this at the wrong angle. Mr. Gold, I know Lilac very well. In fact, it was at her request that I came here today-"

"I could determine that much," Gold interjects. Blue narrows her eyes.

"And I must say that even I am appaled you would engage in a relationship with a...well, pardon my foul words, but she is a whore, Mr. Gold."

The words hand in the air between them, and Blue seems to be proud of herself. She gives him a wicked smile and her eyes glint with something evil. Her words echo around Gold and that urge to hit her is back, but this time it is stonger and feels like it would be completely acceptable.

"You foul. Judgemental. Cunt." He spits, seperating each word. He cannot remember a time when he had spoken this way to anyone else. But hearing Belle being reffered to that way by someone so morally flawed and completely horrible, made him angrier than anything else ever had.

"Mr. Gold, you are being utterly-"

"I want you to leave here," Gold tells her, "I want you to get the fuck out of here and never come back. I don't care how much Lilac demands you come, you don't. I refuse to be in the presence of someone so miserable."

Pure, unadulterated fear flies across the nun's pixie-like features for a moment. "You don't even deny it," she muses, "You know she is worth nothing. That appears to be the things you two have in common."

The look on Gold's face could have frozen fire. He had never been so angry, or felt so demeaned. "I'll kill you," he murmurs, "I'll destroy you, you sick, demented woman. Now get out of here, before I do it now."

Blue glares right back at him, but she is terrified. Doing what he says seems to be perhaps in her best interest now. She turns around, her nun-attire flapping behind her, and makes her way toward the door. When she reaches it, she looks him square in the eyes and says, "You won't ever kill me, Gold. You're a coward, and you will never give up that much to protect anyone."

~xx~

"So what exactly do you normally do with your dad?" Belle asks. She knows this day is going to be interesting, as she has not been a babysitter since she was sixteen.

Bae shrugs. "Not much. Usually we just hang around the house. Maybe go to Granny's." He sips on his coffee and Belle mulls this over.

"Do you want to go to Granny's, then? Maybe you'll see someone you know there. Or I could call up Emma and see if she could bring Henry over here?" She offers.

Bae gives her an odd look. "How do you know Henry's moms? And how did you know I know Henry?"

Shit. Belle scrambles around for an excuse. "Er...I heard you talking about him yesterday. And I-uh-have been friends with Emma for a while."

Bae shrugs. "We can go to Granny's, I guess. You probably shouldn't pull Henry away from Regina. She really doesn't like me."

Belle laughs. "Me either. Regina and I never seemed to get along."

"She thinks I'm a troublemaker, and that I'm going to corrupt her son."

"Really? You don't seem the corrupting type."

"That's what Emma tried to convince her. Didn't work though."

Belle nods. "Regina isn't easily swayed in her opinions."

Bae sighs. "Yeah," he raises his coffee mug, "Well, here's to hoping that one day she might."

She clinks her mug against his.

...

The walk to Granny's is chilly, to use only one word. Belle did not know how to drive, having never walked very far from Ruby's and her apartment, besides the one time she wound up at Dr. Gold's. Bae found it very odd that she didn't drive, and kept asking her why.

"I don't need it," she kept telling him, but he was unimpressed by this.

"You should learn. I bet Papa would teach you," he told her.

When they arrive at the restaurant, Bae goes right up to the bar, waving at the bartender as a way to get her attention. Belle races up next to him.

"What are you doing!?" She asks, "You're not old enough to drink! And look, she's talking to someone, anyway."

The tall bartender is leaning over the bar, twirling one of her red streaks and talking animatedly to a curly-haired ginger man. It takes Belle a moment to realize who she is.

"Ruby?" She asks.

Ruby turns and Bae rolls his eyes. "You just told me not to bother her."

Belle shushes him.

"Belle, hi!" Ruby says, "Where were you last night?"

Belle blinks repeatedly. "I was, um...out. Why are you here? I thought your Granny wasn't talking to you."

"She wasn't, till she found out I stopped working at the club. Then she hired me again." She looks at Bae, "whose kid is that?"

"He's, um, I-I'm babysitting" Belle stammers.

Bae snorts. "No, she's my dad's girlfriend. He had to work today." He sighs, "hey, can I get a mountain dew." He slaps two crumpled dollars on the counter, "keep the change."

Ruby stares at Belle, open mouthed. "You have a boyfriend? And he has a kid? Why didn't you tell me!?"

"He isn't my boyfriend," Belle insists, "I'm just,watching his son for him today."

Ruby pockets Bae's money and starts filling a glass up with soda. "Oh, really," she says, making it clear she does not believe her. Belle notices belatedly that this is because Bae is shaking his head furiously as indication that Belle is lying.

"Make me a drink, Ruby," she sighs.

...

"Do you want me to be your father's girlfriend?" Belle asks as she exits the diner with Bae behind her.

He shrugs. "Yeah, I guess. He needs somebody to make him happy, and you do that. Plus, you're pretty nice. It's a win-win."

She sighs. "You really seem to be pushing the idea on everyone."

"That's just so you'll know it's true."

"It's not true, though," she argues, and Bae just grins at her.

"You want it to be, though."

"What I want is usually pretty irrelevant." Belle says tiredly.

Bae looks away for a moment, unsure of how to respond, but he quickly regains his creative senses, saying, "I bet Papa doesn't think that."

Belle wishes she could tell him how little he knows about the matter. She is stripper, and one who his mother despises. She is also half Gold's age, and her father would hate her even more than he already does. Ruby would find her disgusting, and she might have to find a new job and a place to live. And more than that, Gold clearly does not feel inclined to have a relationship with a showclub whore.

"It doesn't matter, Baelfire. It can't be like that between us."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Where are we going, anyway?"

"Your mom's. I have the address, but I'm not entirely sure where to go."

Bae smiles. "This should be fun. It's right up here. Good luck keeping your head through the encounter, though."

Belle laughs, but reminds herself that she probably should not enjoy hearing a child bash their mother. "She isn't so horrible. You shouldn't speak ill of your mother."

They turn up the driveway and Bae looks down shamefully. "Sorry. I just can't see her reacting very well to you hanging out with me today."

She tries not to let on that he's right, and simply rings the doorbell.

Lilac's face turns stone-cold when she sees Belle standing beside her son on her doorstep. However, she covers her distaste quickly and smiles. "Bae," she says, "I trust you had a good night? Why don't you go inside?"

He obeys her, brushing past her into the house. He turns before disappearing and mouths *good luck* to Belle, who is just now realizing how bad she needs it. Lilac looks like she might very well have Belle's head hung on her wall by the end of this encounter.

She checks behind her, making sure that Bae is well out of earshot before she turns on Belle.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" She says furiously, "Where is my husband!? Why do you have my son!?"

Belle does her best to stay composed. "He had to work. He asked me to spend time with Bae today and then return him to you. I assume there are no problems with this?"

"There are quite a lot of problems with this, actually!" The woman seethes, catching Belle off gaurd. Perhaps it was silly of her to think she might give her a respectful response and continue on her way, "Do you really think I am completely at peace with the idea of my son in the hands of a filthy tramp like you all day? What'd you do, take him to the club? Did you have one of your friends give him a dance, or did you do it yourself?"

The words feel like a slap. Belle blinks at her, partly to disguise the tears welling in her eyes. "What on earth did I ever do to you, Mrs. Gold? Because whatever it was, I am so sorry. I don't want to be your enemy."

"You slept with my husband," she spits in Belle's face, demeaning her more than she would have thought possible, "that's what makes you my enemy."

"He's not your husband!" Belle argues, louder than she meant to. She then whispers, "Frankly, I'm surprised he ever was."

Lilac slaps her. It is loud, and sure as hell shuts her up. Arguing with this woman would be pointless. She is far too driven by anger for Belle to handle.

So instead of standing and arguing with her, Belle turns and makes her way back down the driveway, trying to hide her tears.

~xx~

"Dr. Gold, there's a young girl here to see you. Says her name is Belle. Alright. Okay, I'll let her know."

The receptionist puts the phone back on the hook and smiles up at Belle. "He'll be right out, dear. He's quite glad you're here."

Belle nods and closes her eyes. At least someone is not disgusted by her presence. She was afraid he would be angry she is so late. She had gone to the showclub for a few hours to get drinks from Jefferson, the guy who ran the bar there. He had listened to her vent about Lilac and comforted her. It was more than one would normally expect from someone who's seen their breasts multiple times. Now Belle feels numb and half-drunk, but it is better than feeling bad about herself.

"Belle."

She turns to see Gold, smiling at her.

"You made it," he says, exasperated, "I trust nothing was too difficult."

Just your wife she thinks to herself, but does not say aloud. "Yeah, everything was just fine." She lies.

The lie seems to make him happy. "Good. Well, I came out as soon as I could. Left some things in back though, I just need to get them and I can take you home."

She nods and follows him back through the hospital. He turns into a small office room and begins picking things up and shoving them into a briefcase, talking mindlessly as he does so. Belle hardlt listens. It all seems a blur to her, probably a side-affect from all the alcohol she had consumed. She even fails to notie how completely destroyed the office is, with papers scattered around and a few pictures broken on the ground by the desk.

"...That's why I am so glad I had you around. You're so helpful, Belle. More than that, really. Anyone who would dare talk ill of you is beyond wrong." He speaks as if from some sort of experience. Belle merely leans against the wall, not even looking at him, "You're so wonderful. Having you around is something to be treaured and I..." He trails off, perhaps afraid he has said too much, " Well, that's everything," he says.

He is about to say more, but his words are stopped when he turns around and finds Belle's lips on his, eager and hot with wanting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am well aware that I promised smut in this chapter, but life caught up with me when I realized I had already hit 5,000 words. So the smuttiness will start in the nect chapter, and I promise to update faster as well.
> 
> I also apologize for any spelling/grammer errors. Spellcheck was not cooperating and typos could easily have occured.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is still with me! I know it's hard to deal with someone who refuses to update fast enough.
> 
> As a way of apologizing, I will finish my secret santa fic and have the next chapter of this posted by next Sunday, provided the world does not actually end.
> 
> Loves to all of you! Xoxo, Merry Christmas/Whatever holiday it is you celebrate!
> 
> ~Robin


	3. Part 3

The surprise only lasts a second before he kisses her back. She is so desperate and so willing that he is almost scared of what might be provoking her actions, though questioning them is the furthest thing from his mind. He takes his hand up to her cheek, resting it there softly, and wonders if she does this on purpose.

Not the kissing, obviously that was always intentional, but the innocent begging that left him breathless, and the softness that was so horribly alluring.

He figured that if she did that on purpose, she was being cruel. He never has found himself so hopeless, so at mercy for someone's sweet kisses before. It does not help that all the while she is tugging softly at his hair, an action that goes straight to his groin.

She is doing her best to be rough about it. After all, she is certainly in no stable mental state after being wrung out by this man's ex-wife, and a minute part of her is doing this for revenge, but feeling his lips so soft and gentle against her hot, begging mouth is what makes her question her methods. Because although they clearly have different ideas about what is going on, she has never felt so incredibly in sync with someone else, and so she follows him, letting her aggression go and paying more attention to him than to her thoughts.

And he notices when she does this; when her hands leave his hair and rest on his shoulders, tugging at the material of his white coat. He shrugs it off quickly, taking her hint, while still keeping his mouth attached to hers as much as possible.

She tries undoing the buttons on his shirt while simultaneously taking a step backward until the backs of his knees hit the desk and he drops his cane, sitting down on the wooden edge. Belle pulls away from him slowly, dragging her teeth across the inside of his lower lip as she does so, then looks down at him with a sort of wicked nervousness in her eyes. He gives her no indication as to what he wants with his expression, for he feels it would be wrong for her to act based on his desires.

She gives him that same look for a few desperately silent seconds before placing her hands firmly on his shoulders and lifting her right leg, then her left to straddle him on the edge of the desk, feeling his already-hard length against her. He clasps his hands around her waist tightly as if he is afraid that she might slip away from him.

It is a valid fear, after all. He knows very well that Belle is far too good for him. She is only offering him her attentions because she is broken, and she will only be his if people continue to break her. The thought of that is painful. He does not want anyone to hurt her, even if it means that he will lose her. It is not worth it to keep her if it means she will only suffer because of it.

She looks down at her unfinished work on his buttons and places her icy fingers on the next one. He shivers at the contact her fingers make with his chest and she smiles a tiny smile, but says nothing. He holds her a bit tighter.

When she finishes with the last one, he grazes her jaw with his finger, an invitation for her to look back down at him, and when she does, her face is unreadable. He can only see beauty and a strange expression that he cannot comprehend, so he kisses her. Her mouths molds into his slowly this time, and her hands shove his dress-shirt off his shoulders and splay across his back. He breathes heavily, letting go of her mouth for only a second to do so.

He releases his grip on her waist and his fingers search around her neck for the tiny zipper holding her dress together. Her hair is almost blocking him from doing so, as she has her brown curls tied back in a low ponytail. Noticing this, she reaches back and unties her hair, letting it fall around them like a brown curtain, hiding them from the outside world, if only for this little bit.

He finds her zipper quickly then, and her dress falls as easily as her hair. He reaches for the clasp on her bra, but she murmurs, "No."

His hands stop instantly. "What?"

"Just...just do it. I don't need anything else." she says, pushing her dress down her torso, and then her knickers with it.

Her tone terrifies him. She sounds so scared and so agonizingly sad that he feels he could stop all of this, no matter how impossible it seems. "Belle..."

She shakes her head. "Please," she begs, "Just do as I say...I...I'll fix it later." she barely mutters the last sentence so quietly he is hardly sure it was ever even there.

She feels bad, using him like this and barely allowing him what he wants, but she needs him now...because he can give her more than she will ever be able to give herself, and when this is over, she might just get it again.

So she yanks on his buttons and zippers, trying not to let herself be distracted by what his hands are doing to the inside of her thighs. She had never been one to want a quick fuck so badly, but her head is spinning and she is toppling on what feels like the edge of a cliff. She wants to find release, not be teased for hours on end, because it already feels like time is slipping away.

"Belle, please, we have all night," she hears him say, but she merely shushes him, and even though is comes out gaspy and desperate-sounding, it is clear that he recognizes her intention because he does no press the issue.

Instead, he continues to make little circles in her thighs, getting closer to the warm heat at her centre, making her gasp and lose the control she is fighting to keep.

He runs his finger through her moist lips and groans. She can feel him twitch through the trousers she has been distracted from releasing completely. She pants and tries to regain herself, but fails in this when he begins toying with her clit, sending shivers through her body. She throws her head back, leaning forward and letting his fingers slip inside her.

She rocks against him helplessly, almost happy that he had chosen to ignore her request. Having him tease her was one of the better experiences she'd ever had, to say the least.

His skilled fingers are so good at finding little places that make her moan and arch up to him, but she can still feel his erection under her hand, and knows this must be painful for him.

"Gold," she pants, "Rum, I-I want you...to take me."

He is all too happy to hear those words. He withdrawals his hands from her—she is so wet and tight he can hear it—and she finishes what she had started with his trousers, letting him free at last.

He waits a moment, despite the fact that he is much too far gone now, but he is happy to bask in this second, and Belle seems to be too. Sitting in a stuffy office, on a table, with heaving breathing surrounding them, should not have felt so perfect.

His fingers, which are still grazing her folds delicately, move to his length and his other hand grasps her hip and he guides himself into her.

She tightens around him quickly and begins rocking again. It starts as slow, sweet lovemaking, but she hardly has the patience for it and soon she is bucking and gasping against his thrusting hips, toppling on the edge of something much different now, ready to find her release.

He flicks at her clit, making her back arch and she moans loudly and in doing so feels him release inside her. She moans again, even louder this time, and lets waves of please blind and wash over her.

She is only distantly aware of his lips finding hers again, of a sweet and beautiful kiss that he bestows upon a her shoulder, but she is very aware when the light and heat fades away and she is hanging limp over him with a heavy weight still on her shoulders.

He is aware of it, too.

Her face is buried in his shoulder and she is taking deep, heavy breaths, but refusing to look at him.

Does she not realize how happy she makes him? Does she not understand that he would rather be dead than not in this very position right now? He is the one who should be doubting anything. She is too beautiful...too perfect to think that she is anything less than that.

When she looks at him, he can see tears welling in her eyes and his stomach falls a bit. Of course, it is easy to understand why she would be crying. She just gave herself up to an old cripple for the second time. Obviously, that is not something that would make any woman smile.

He lifts his hand and catches her tears on his fingers. She sobs when he does this, and he tries not to let himself be broken by that. He does not want to say anything, for if he does he is in danger of breaking her, and he does not want to hurt his Belle. Not ever. Even if he has already done so with this.

He would like to ask her why she is crying. He would like to tell her that she is wrong to be upset, but the nagging voice in the back of his mind tells him that she is doing this out of regret, and she has a right to that. To say she should not feel wrong about giving herself to him would be a lie. She should not let him touch her. She should not have let him fall in love with her.

And perhaps that fact is what makes him cradle her head against his chest and continue to catch her tears while she sobs uncontrollably. It is because she makes him feel something almost unrecognizable, purely because he has never felt it before.

Her tangled hair tickles his chest and he flinches at the contact. Feeling this, she wraps her arms around his waist and cries a little harder, and he swears he hears her whisper, "Stay."

And he does. It might have been hours they sat on the edge of his desk, but eventually her tears ebb and her breathing steadies until she is asleep. It is then that he looks down at her and prods her shoulder a bit so that she is just barely awake, and fumbles with her buttons and zippers, making her look semi-presentable. Then he loops her arms around his neck and half-carries her out to his car, with her stumbling beside him.

When he pulls into the driveway, she finally opens her eyes.

"W-why did you bring me here?" she asks softly.

He blinks at her. "I don't know," he admits, "I couldn't just leave you, I-"

"I shouldn't be here."

"Belle, please-"

She opens the car door and starts to step out, but she is tired and delerious, so he reaches her before she can run away. He grabs her wrist, saying, "It's too late for this. Just come in and sleep. You'll be fine, you can leave in the morning."

She tries feebly to pull away from him, but the tiny part of her that is still thinking clearly tells her that she really has no place to go and leaving is a stupid idea. He's right, she can leave in the morning, before he even wakes up, and she can forget all of this.

He drags her into the house and she collapses on the couch, tears falling silently down her face. He gives her a pained expression, and immediately wishes that he hadn't since it only makes her tears come faster.

He throws a glance toward the little chipped teacup on the counter and then to the crying girl on his couch. He picks up the cup swiftly and walks over to her, sitting down next to her, and to his surprise, she doesn't flinch away from him.

"I want you to take this," he says, gesturing toward the cup in his hand, "I don't need it, and since you probably won't be returning, I-"

She shakes her head and pushes it back toward him. "No. I don't want anything."

He sighs, but the sigh is broken and pained. "Please, Belle. I insist that you take it."

Her hands clench into fists and she presses them into the couch cushions. "No," she says again, this time in almost a strangled cry.

Tears sting in his eyes and he pushes it toward her again. "I'm begging you, Belle. Please-"

And she takes it. She snatches it from his hands and hurls it across the room, watching it shatter on the floor while she bursts into broken, massive sobs. "Why wouldn't you just listen to me!?" she demands, "Why can't you just let it go!?"

He blinks slowly so that the tears will not overflow. "I'm sorry" he murmurs, so sincerely that it nearly brings her back to reality, "If you'd just tell me-"

"I don't have to tell you anything!" she screams, racing from the room and down the hall, collapsing against a door and quieting her tears as best she can.

~xx~

When her eyes open again, they are still moist, which is what tips her off to where she is, and what had happened the previous night.

She lying in the hallway, her face buried in the carpet, which smells like the rest of the house. Like Gold.

And then she remembers the rest of what had happened and she groans, sitting up and wiping dried tears from her face.

She had messed up again. He was never going to talk to her again. He must think she's crazy now. After all, she did a very satisfactory job of proving that to him.

Belle looks down the hallway, wondering if he is awake. She does not know how early it is, but he seemed to have been under the impression that she wanted to leave peacefully, without seeing him again, and she supposes that's true...or at least she thought it was. After all, if she sees him now, he'll question her about the previous night, and she is not sure she wants to have that discussion.

Of course she wants him to know her, even with all her little imperfections, but no matter what explanation she gives him, she knows that he will not understand. Hell, she hardly understands it herself.

She hears dishes clanking together and knows that he is up.

A part of her-the more cowardly part-wants to stay holed up in this hall until he leaves, and then sneak out when he is not looking so as to avoid an increasingly awkward encounter, but she knows it is far better to do the brave thing, and face him.

So Belle gathers herself and stands up, slowly making her way down the hallway into the kitchen. She is sore all over, from her back to all of her other muscles. Sleeping on the floor probably had not helped anything.

She sees him making coffee, already dressed and showered, and she feels a bit embarrassed in her crumpled dress and ratty hair. Her eyes probably do not look very nice either.

The look he gives her confirms her fears. He looks hurt, but as if he is trying to hide it.

"'Morning," he mutters.

She nods. "Good morning."

He does not say anything back. He only stares at the coffee pot, avoiding her gaze and making her feel like she is nothing. She stands awkwardly, knowing that she is not likely welcome to sit on any of his furniture

"I'm sorry!" she says, louder than she had meant to, and he jumps, just barely meeting her eyes before looking down again, "I mean, I'm sorry I...I broke your cup...and that I was acting crazy, I just...I felt horrible. It's been a miserable few weeks and I was ignoring everyone and my dad hates me and my roommate quit working with me and has a real, meaningful relationship, right after my ex cheated on me, then to top it all off your wife yelled at me and it just all...hit me, you know? I'm so sorry you had to see me that way, it is not your fault, I...I'm sorry."

She wonders if he was even able to decipher any of that.

"Lilac yelled at you?" he asks softly.

She feels like slamming her hand down on the counter and saying, "really!? That's what you took from that!?", but she doesn't. She just nods and swallows. "But it doesn't matter," she assures him, "She didn't mean to hurt my feelings or anything."

It is a lie, but she feels that he deserves some sort of reassurance that his ex-wife is not a completely horrible person.

"And I'm sorry I broke your cup," she says meekly, again, "I can fix it for you, maybe. I used to watch Micheal Tillman's kids before my dad kicked me out, and he fixes cars which is probably somewhat related to fixing other things, so-"

"It's fine, Belle," he says, in a voice that makes it clear that it is anything but, "Really, it's just a cup. And it was already damaged."

She nods again and tries to meet his eyes, but he is avoiding her gaze.

He pours the coffee into a travel-mug and makes his way to the door. "I've got to go to work. You can, ah, let yourself out."

She blinks at his back, hardly comprehending.

She refuses to believe that he could even think about leaving it like this. He may not be as fucked up as she is, but leaving her in the dust because she had finally succumbed to her injuries was...cowardly.

And she does not want to let him be a coward.

So she goes through his cabinets, looking for some sort of container, but all she can find is a bowl, so she considers it good enough and goes to inspect the pile of smashed china on the floor, courtesy of her craziness, and scoops the pieces into the bowl.

She'll fix it. After all, she told him she would.

She'll fix everything. Later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I know I didn't help you guys at all with getting over Sunday...but at least I updated, right?
> 
> I'm questioning this chapter a bit since it doesn't give much closure, but it's very late and I really wanted to post it so you guys will just have to bear with me.
> 
> I might do some more spinoffs on these stories if I feel like it. If you guys want me to, just prompt me on my tumblr and I'll get to it. Thanks a ton! xoxo~Robin


End file.
